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Morwen Oronor Profile
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Registered: 01-2008
Location: South Africa
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Re: Why?


Some replies:
I've never heard 'fierce' Corey, not even on TV.
In SA, gay men are called 'moffies' as a derogatory term.
That is akin to using the 'n' word to a person with a dark skin.
I think epithets are horrible. If you feel threatened by another group to people to the extent that you have to be rude to them, then you need serious help.
And you can call me 'hon' anytime I rather like 'darlin' too very cute, I haven't been someone's darling in a long time.

Free, go to the top sites on the Google political forum search - any of them.

 emoticon emoticon emoticon
8/12/2008, 10:13 am Link to this post Send PM to Blog
 
Petal Alderin Profile
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Re: Why?


I don't mind being called hon or darlin or pet either, as long as it's meant in a friendly way - and it depends who's doing the posting!

I think that classing people in a group and giving them a derogatory name is unnecessary and even worse when the names are given by those in that group!
Fierce I haven't heard of either ... must be an American thing. I think the worst of all is "queer" - eeek! Why can't we all just be people and not defined by our sexuality?

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8/12/2008, 11:02 am Link to this post Send e-mail to   Send PM to Blog
 
Lesigner Girl Profile
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Re: Why?


quote:

Pastor Rick wrote:

I knew what you were trying to say Lesa and no worries, make you a deal, I won't call you sweety as long as you don't call me fundy emoticon


I could never even think of calling you a fundy. emoticon Except maybe as a joke, of course. emoticon

That said, Corey, you are fierce, girlfriend! Sorry, couldn't resist. emoticon I think girlfriend for me would be like sweetie, but I haven't been called girlfriend in a way that seemed condescending, so I can't really say for sure.

If anyone wants to call me fierce, feel free, because I know I can be pretty fierce. emoticon

quote:

Free04 wrote:

I have several atheist boards links if you would Like.

Lesa, I have atheist friends and visit and know through message boards many atheist, I talk to them on a daily basis. My intenetion was not to undermine the atheist, I hope you didn't take it that way.


No worries, Free. emoticon I had a feeling you didn't mean it that way, and you are already on my non-fundy list. emoticon

I'm familiar with sites and boards that are set up for atheists, but I don't know of any where they sit around discussing atheism all day. If you have links to any like that, I'd love to see how they keep the conversation on topic.... "I don't believe in any gods, how about you?" "Nope, me either. What about you?" "Nope, and you?" emoticon


quote:

Mo wrote:

Have you found that when you talk about being 'spoken down to' you get a response like 'why are girls so touchy about the things we say, we say the same thing o guys and they don't get upset'.


I've heard of guys saying that, but I can't remember the last time it was said to me directly, or if it ever was.

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8/13/2008, 9:51 pm Link to this post Send e-mail to   Send PM to Blog
 
Morwen Oronor Profile
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Re: Why?


My husband said it to me yesterday.
"What's so terrible about being called 'a lady'?"
He just doesn't get the condescension because he has never been talked down to.
I have a running battle with a local journo who , from time to time, keeps reviving his story about how badly-dressed the women who live in our area are. And he says "women, because they can't be called 'ladies'".
Then I respond with thank you for not calling me a 'lady' then some idiot repressed apologetic hausfrau writes in and says "I love being called a lady, and being treated like one".
To which I usually respond with "well did you husband tell you to say that, and have you recovered from your latest beating?"
I've spent my life having to fight off condescension and being told to 'know my place'. So I know only too well what it feels like and I hate it.
When I said to Giv that I am a woman, the opposite of man, and that if he insists on talking about the ladies in the club, does he refer to the men as 'gentlemen' he said "of course not but you're just being silly".
Look, I know that we talk of the 'ladies who do lunch' and the 'ladies' room'. I can live with those, but I will keep fighting for equality until all gender-defined roles and labels are removed, like actress, waitress, manageress, chairlady etc. Actor, manager and chairman are perfectly acceptable non-gender titles to use.
(Except if you live in South Africa where waiters are called 'waitrons' for some peculiar reason).
8/14/2008, 12:54 am Link to this post Send PM to Blog
 
Free04 Profile
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Re: Why?


quote:

Lesigner Girl wrote:


No worries, Free. emoticon I had a feeling you didn't mean it that way, and you are already on my non-fundy list. emoticon

I'm familiar with sites and boards that are set up for atheists, but I don't know of any where they sit around discussing atheism all day. If you have links to any like that, I'd love to see how they keep the conversation on topic.... "I don't believe in any gods, how about you?" "Nope, me either. What about you?" "Nope, and you?" emoticon


I am really glad you understand.....Now I said I have been called names before, but I have never been called a non-fundie. Your the first! emoticon I will post a site or two I was talking about. There is one in particular I want you to take a look at.

See ya Lesa

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John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
8/14/2008, 11:02 am Link to this post Send e-mail to   Send PM to
 
Petal Alderin Profile
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Re: Why?


I'm not as vehement about what people call me as you seem to be Mo, getting back to my "live and let live" attitude.

If someone calls me a lady it doesn't worry me in the slightest - in fact I look upon it as a form of respect in a way - it's not always condescending at all, depending on the circumstances. I like to think of myself as a woman too, but a ladylike one most of the time lol!

I like to see well-mannered people both male and female. And most of those who are of the "old school" certainly don't mean any harm, I know that.

I'm a very independant woman as you know, and I have to be with a husband who for most of our married life has spent more time away from home than in it. And I think I'm fairly intelligent and capable - I can certainly do various DIY stuff around the house and managed to raise two boys virtually single-handed, making decisions that normally are left to the so-called head of the household (as you very likely did, too). I enjoy male company and am not a frivolous type of coffee klatsch person at all - I prefer to discuss subjects that I can get my teeth into than recipes and knitting. But then I'm lucky in that the circle of women with whom I'm friendly are very similar and also not all that interested in the suburban domestic chit chat!

However, I admit that I do enjoy being treated like bone china at times and made to feel that I'm special because I'm a woman, a mother, a wife, and respected for all those roles. Even today my sons will stand up if a woman walks into a room - and that includes me. I like to think that they are considerate and well-mannered, not condescending at all. I enjoy having doors held open for me and having a stronger person carrying heavy parcels and taking care of the tougher things - that doesn't mean I'm incapable of doing it myself at all, I just respect the respect I'm given. And I promise, I'm not a battered woman at all and have never been beaten by my man lol!

I guess I believe in equality but I don't sweat the small stuff and I'm not a raving feminist, but I'm not a dumb blonde either!

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8/14/2008, 12:33 pm Link to this post Send e-mail to   Send PM to Blog
 
Morwen Oronor Profile
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Re: Why?


I just think that if you wouldn't say it to a man or to another man you shouldn't say it to a woman.
As Lesa said to her workmate.
If you behave in a certain way in the company of the men in your circle, why do you behave differently in the company of women?
To me good manners is always being on your best behaviour and not only in the company of women.
So to stand up when someone older than yourself, or a stranger enters a room is simply good manners, not because they are a woman but because it is respectful to make another person feel acknowledged.
And helping someone in or out of a car or through a door because they are a woman is stupid if they are perfectly able to open the door for themselves. Again do men rush to open doors for other men? Then why do they do it for women? But to hold a door for someone who is infirm, or old, that is good manners and not condescending.
I guess I am a bit militant and too much of a feminist because I believe that my gender doesn't define me.
8/14/2008, 3:24 pm Link to this post Send PM to Blog
 
Petal Alderin Profile
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Re: Why?


I think that to a certain extent we are defined by our gender, like it or not - it's something inbuilt, that we can't escape from. We might be practical and independent and want to fight fiercely for women's rights but we are also innately different from men, and not just physically .. emotionally, I think we're a lot softer. We seem to have a sort of necessary inter-dependence on each other for different needs ....

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8/14/2008, 3:31 pm Link to this post Send e-mail to   Send PM to Blog
 
Morwen Oronor Profile
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Re: Why?


I don't think so - that we are emotional different. I think we are conditioned to be that way. Girls are brought up to be soft and cuddly and sweet and boys are told to be tough and strong and to hide their emotions, this gives a false impression that women are more emotional or that women reason from an emotional viewpoint and therefore either have an excuse to avoid or are prevented from the decision-making process because of it.
If boys and girls are raised in exactly the same way, i.e. allowed to freely express their emotions and also to deal with adversity with strength and stoicism, then maybe we'd go a long way towards being more tolerant of our differences and each other's weaknesses and we;d be more prepared to acknowledge each other's strengths rather than to be 'bitchy' because we are girls, or non-emotional because we are boys.
I truly believe it is possible to raise children to not be either limited or advantaged by their gender.
8/14/2008, 3:58 pm Link to this post Send PM to Blog
 
Petal Alderin Profile
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Re: Why?


No I don't agree with you! We were created differently and most definitely have different hormones for starters.

Attitudes and characters can perhaps be built and changed but generally speaking I think there's definitely a "vive la difference" about the two genders. Men from Mars, Women from Venus maybe!

And I've known so many people who have families with both boys and girls in them, and all the children are treated equally, but the difference is noticeable from very early on in their lives. It's something built in deep, and not easy to explain.

How would you explain people who have sex changes operations agreed to only after serious consulatation with top surgeons and psychiatrists - those who are desperately unhappy because they know deep inside that they've been given the wrong body?



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8/15/2008, 5:23 am Link to this post Send e-mail to   Send PM to Blog
 


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