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Morwen Oronor Profile
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Registered: 01-2008
Location: South Africa
Posts: 1743
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Re: mice eat disabled man.....


Those were exactly my thoughts when I brought her in to live with us at the age of 75. However, at 85 she was insane, and causing unbelievable inconvenience in the house, spilling all sorts of unspeakable things into the carpets, leaving water running and ruining the cabinets in the bathroom in the process, insisting that she could help with jobs around the house and then, being allowed to help, totally messing up whatever she did.
The decision to move her to frail are finally came when she fell about in her bedroom at night while packing up to 'go home' and then forgetting who we were, and demanding that we get 'her children' to fetch her.
It was too much, and being incapacitated myself, I had to make the decision to get other people to look after her after about 2 years of this.
I know of other families who have old members who refuse to understand that their children are old people who can't take care of them, yet insist on living independently despite this. To me it's selfishness.

Last edited by Morwen Oronor, 5/18/2009, 8:23 am
5/18/2009, 8:21 am Link to this post Send PM to Blog
 
Petal Alderin Profile
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Registered: 01-2008
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Re: mice eat disabled man.....


I'm with Mo on this one - I would rather stay independent for as long as I can, and not rely on my children.
I looked after both my parents for many years with great love, but it was very difficult at times with a growing family myself, and I was often 'piggy in the middle' and being torn in several different directions at once. It ruined my health and almost ruined my marriage. Not worth it.
Three generations in one house just don't work on a permanent basis and it's not fair to any of the people involved.
We have living wills, stating our wishes should we become completely infirm or need life support to keep us breathing. I will not allow my kids to make such a difficult decision for me, and I refuse to be a burden to them in any way at all - we have plans in place, and will sort ourselves out!
And if frail care centres aren't properly run they should be reported to the authorities stat.

Last edited by Petal Alderin, 5/18/2009, 9:06 am


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5/18/2009, 9:05 am Link to this post Send e-mail to   Send PM to Blog
 
Morwen Oronor Profile
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Resident Scholar
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Registered: 01-2008
Location: South Africa
Posts: 1743
Karma: 15 (+28/-13)
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Re: mice eat disabled man.....


I agree. My feeling is that kids don't ask to be born so if people choose to have children, it is their duty to take care of them, not the other way around.
And your kids don't necessarily like you or owe you anything for giving them life.
If they do like you then you've done a good job in making it that way. We have to sell ourselves to our kids, not them to us.
So because they didn't ask to be my kids, they don't owe me anything.
5/18/2009, 11:48 am Link to this post Send PM to Blog
 


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